the very worst dua lipa performances and all the grammy nominees' internet presences
this is all jokes, i don’t want the smoke
The Grammys are tomorrow and they promise to be an absolute shitshow – The Weeknd is boycotting the award for good, Taylor Swift has strong-armed her way into six nominations for singing about a sweater, and for some reason, Post Malone is there (but Bad Bunny was snubbed? Jesus fuck).
But there are still things to get excited about – Chloe x Halle will look amazing, BTS ARMY will have bullied the Recording Academy into handing over the award, and white women might be simultaneously destroyed when Harry Styles comes out on stage in his flare trousers luv xx.
The Internet has lent a strong hand into this year’s nominations, too. After all, D Smoke was on Netflix’s Rhythm & Flow, Meg Thee Stallion owns summer now thanks to the Hot Girls, and “Say So” by Doja Cat is simply not her best work but a nomination because Charli D’Amelio shook her plywood ass to it in her room.
In this vein, I think it’s time to compile some of the funniest Internet presences from our Grammy nominees this year:
Dua Lipa
Known for her jazzercise-like bops on Future Nostalgia, Dua Lipa has made herself known for two important things: Being that person where you’re like, how the fuck did she get so popular; and giving us absolutely nothing on the live stage.
CHIKA
Let’s review the iconic video that slingshotted CHIKA into the Twitter public eye, and still remains, to this day, another reason why I want to be friends with her:
BTS
The Internet and this group are irrevocably interlinked, and we simply don’t have the time to get into how much I want to do an issue on this. Here’s one of the many iconic interactions with ARMY that is branded into the inside of my brain (yes, before I myself fell headfirst in love with the “Dynamite” people):
Taylor Swift
I’m simply not a Swiftie, but honestly, the best review I have read about Taylor was still in 2011 when The Hollywood Reporter said her live performance was “fine”. To me, she will forever be defined by this travesty (and her Biden-Harris cookies that made me realize maybe being a white woman is just a disease):
Roddy Ricch
My personal hope is that Roddy Ricch wins a Grammy just so I can see old peoples’ reaction to it all. “The Box” had a GameStop-like, Old Town Road-like effect on the music industry that I’m absolutely here for, although it’s sad that its impact was this:
Ariana Grande
Is she a fantastic vocalist? Yes! Are Arianators going to find my address and guillotine me for this take? Yes – I’m sorry, but the minute Ariana began floating the success of her music on the stakes of her personal life, it was really all over. 34+35? Is the sequel 80085? Anyway, this is my favorite piece of the Internet about Ms. Grande (I’m sorry, but it is funny):
And I think that’s all the fun we’ll have today – have a great Grammys weekend, good luck to Ms. Jhené Aiko! You can check out more of my Grammy coverage on BuzzFeed.
That’s all for today! Tune in next Saturday for more Internet commentary, and in the meantime, tell your friends.
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